Batman: Arkham City

Night has fallen in Gotham City, and supervillains are running wild. Who will save us? Nana nana nana nana BATMAN! In a sequel to one of the most surprisingly successful games in recent memory, the Caped Crusader has returned in an even better open-world action game.

After the events of Batman: Arkham Asylum, the Asylum's warden, Quincy Sharp, has been elected mayor of Gotham and has quarantined a section of the city to build a super-prison to hold all of the inmates from both Arkham Asylum and Blackgate Prison. This new monstrosity is called--yep, you guessed it--Arkham City. While hosting a protest rally outside the gates of the super-prison, Bruce Wayne is kidnapped by TYGER security forces, the authority figures of Arkham City. Wayne overhears Dr. Hugo Strange, Arkham City's big cheese, mentioning "Protocol 10" to his goons and fears the worst. He manages to escape his captors and retrieves his Batman suit via an airdrop from the Batplane. Oh snap, it's on now!

Like in the previous game, Batman can easily travel across the map quickly using the grappling hook and glide ability, and can easily see nearby enemies through solid matter with his detective vision. Unfortunately, he still can't swim. But not everything is the same. Remember the repetitive mini-boss battles from Arkham Asylum? Yeah, they're gone. Instead, each boss battle is unique and well designed.

The scenery is excellent. The rundown section of Gotham that makes up Arkham City feels so alive and dark with all of the anarchy that floods its streets. Classic supervillains The Joker, Two-Face, and The Penguin are caught in a three-way gang war, with their henchmen at each others' throats. Plus, lesser known villains like Deadshot, Victor Zsasz and The Black Mask are on the loose as well. And don't forget, The Riddler has scattered plenty of collectables for you to find.

The score is also pretty good. It gives that dark, ominous feeling you should feel when you're traveling through Gotham City.

The voice acting is great all around. Talent includes Kevin Conroy as Batman, Grey DeLisle as Catwoman, and Tara Strong as Harley Quinn. But who could forget the man who always manages to steal the show? That's right, Mark Hamill returns in (what he claims to be) his final appearance as Batman's arch nemesis, The Joker.

Also returning from the previous game's control scheme is the combat system. While it doesn't feel too different, it's not that much to complain about. There are plenty of ways to subdue your foes, both head on and stealthily. Most of the Dark Knight's gadgets are back as well, and he'll pick up a few more, like the electric gun and the freeze grenades. As you complete missions, defeat enemies, and find collectables, you'll gain experience points, which can be used to upgrade your equipment and abilities.

If you buy this game brand new, you'll get an online code to download the Catwoman content, which allows you to play as Gotham's master thief in a few side missions in story mode, as well as challenge mode. Otherwise, you'll have to download it separately for a $10. While Catwoman fights and travels across the map in many ways similar to Batman, she has her own set of weapons and upgrades, including razor-sharp claws that allow her to climb on the ceiling.

When the story is over, you're free to roam around and swap between characters as you please. There are also plenty of side missions to keep you occupied, although the augmented reality training is ridiculously hard. Challenge mode is also also available, and you can use both Batman and Catwoman. Rocksteady Studios has also promised future DLC allowing you to play as Robin and Nightwing in challenge mode.

The only complaint I can make about Batman: Arkham City is its lack of co-op in story mode. Seriously, with all of these characters that we are able to play as in challenge mode, why wouldn't Rocksteady think of this? Hopefully, if there's a sequel, we'll get to see something like this soon enough.

Are you still reading this? If you're a Batman fan, you'd be crazy not to buy this game and shout, "I...AM...BATMAN!"

Available for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC. (Wii U version scheduled for 2012 release.) Rated T for Teen. Developed by Rocksteady Studios, published by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment.

Image provided courtesy of PosterCollective.com.

Rage

Tasty, refreshing, makes you wish for an apocalypse...however you want to describe it, Rage is a barrel 'o fun that combines elements of a first-person shooter and a role playing game. From the makers of Doom and Quake (seriously, it's right there on the box), Rage is a post-apocalyptic first-person role playing shooter that both looks and plays great. Though I must admit, the title makes no sense, and has nothing to do with the plot. It seems to be there just to look cool. Oh well.

In Rage, you play as a nameless, voiceless (it's a shooter, what did you expect?), lone survivor of a cryogenic spaceship crash. Your ship is called an Ark, and it's one of many. It's about a hundred years after the great asteroid catastrophe of 2029. What's left of humanity has evolved into a wacky mix of post-apocalyptic characters from Mad Max and Fallout. NPCs basically break up into three categories: bandits, The Authority, and sane people who won't try to kill you. As an Ark survivor, you're worth a lot of dough to whoever can turn you into The Authority, the ruling faction of the Wasteland. Needless to say, it's up to you to do what you gotta do to survive.

The first thing you'll notice about Rage is that it looks fantastic. Both the camera and the characters move smoothly across the screen, and the scenery shows a great level of detail. Seriously, you need to see this in HD. The sound effects are also well done. Each gun sounds different, and the voice acting is pretty good. In fact, the first person you meet in the game is voiced by John Goodman...yeah.

But don't think this game is all show, because the gameplay is excellent as well. Sure, most of the missions are the same--go here, get this, come back--but it doesn't get old, mainly because every dungeon looks unique, and you get to travel across the Wasteland in suped up offroad vehicles complete with machine guns, rocket launchers, and other fun toys. Vehicles are upgradeable through winning races. To make some extra cash you can play gambling minigames, including a futuristic, wild west version of craps, and Rage's own knockoff of Magic: The Gathering. There's also plenty of id Software Easter eggs to uncover.

The controls are easy to pick up and are very responsive. Looting is easier than ever; just point at a corpse and click, and you've cleaned it out. Even loot laying around in bunches can be gathered all at once, and you can carry as much as you want. You can also carry all of your weapons.

The weapons of Rage vary from traditional arms like assault rifles and shotguns, to awesomely crazy ones like exploding RC cars and boomerang blades (but not the one from that piece of crap, Dark Sector). Most of them are also upgradeable, and some of them can be built with the junk you find around the Wasteland. Many of them can also use different kinds of ammunition, including armor piercing and exploding. Weapons also show a convincing amount of weight when fired.

Enemy AI is also very well done. Every encounter feels different, and they come at you from all sides, including the ceiling and the floor. That being said, they don't always seem to respond correctly when they take gunfire. Before you die, you'll also have a chance to play a button command minigame to get right back into the action.

When campaign mode is over, there's two multiplayer modes: Road Rage and Legends of the Wasteland. Road Rage is an online exclusive mode focused on the game's cars. You can either race or battle your friends, and unlock new cars and upgrades by gaining points. Legends of the Wasteland is about you and a buddy letting the bullets fly in a dungeon overrun with enemies, and the best part is that it can be played on splitscreen.

Alright, so it sounds like a good time, right? Well, what about the neutered third act? That's right. Just when the game's epic conclusion begins, it suddenly ends. I dare you to finish this game without saying "That's it?" out loud. You could probably blame id Software for running out of time or money or whatever, but an ending like the one this game offers is just unacceptable. Hopefully they can fill with gap with DLC or a sequel.

To sum it up, Rage is a great game. Despite the horrible ending, the game looks and feels excellent, and is definitely worth a try.

Available for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC. Rated M for Mature. Developed by id Software, published by Bethesda Softworks.

Image provided courtesy of WikiMedia.org.

Fallout: New Veags: Lonesome Road

All good things must come to an end, as well as Fallout: New Vegas. (Zing!) But before The Courier walks off into the sunset, Obsidian has given us one final DLC to (kind of) wrap up the mysteries of our hero's past. Once the package is downloaded, you'll get a five level cap increase (totaling at 50 if you've downloaded the other packages) and access to The Divide, a military town scarred by nuclear devastation after The Great War. But let's just say that there are probably better ways to spend $10.

In Lonesome Road, you answer the call of Ulysses, the courier who turned down the Mr. House's job of delivering the Platinum Chip and deferred it to you. You're allowed to travel to The Divide without a weight restriction, and you can come and go as you please. However, you can't bring any companions with you.

The biggest letdown of this DLC is that it's so limited. The main quest is literally straight forward. All you do is follow narrow the path that Ulysses has laid before you while he communicates with you through an eyebot with the same name as ED-E, even though he isn't ED-E, even though they both have the same origin story. I agree, it's stupid. ED-E is also your companion in The Divide, which is great because you'll need someone to help you carry all the loot you'll find. ED-E also functions as a workbench and an ammo workbench.

The character Ulysses walks a fine line between entertaining and annoying. He slowly reveals the past you share with him though riddles and accusations that you are responsible for a great crime that I will not reveal. But he does it in this sensual voice that sounds like sexual chocolate.

There's only a couple new types of enemies in this game: the Marked Men and the Tunnelers. The Marked Men are the designated humanoid bad guys with guns. They're supposed to be ghouls, but they look a lot like Red Skull. The Tunnelers are a tougher version of the Spore Carriers from Vault 22. Fighting one of them isn't that bad, but they travel in packs, which are a total bitch to fight. Don't worry, The Divide also has Deathclaws, and if you've played Fallout long enough you'd know how much of a headache those guys are.

Probably the best thing about Lonesome Road is the tasty new weapons, including the Red Glare (a repeating rocket launcher), the shoulder-mounted machine gun (a minigun that shoots 10mm bullets), and the satchel bomb (which you can build yourself). But the best new weapon is the laser detonator. Warheads are scattered across The Divide, and the laser detonator can set them off from an infinite distance when there's nothing to block the beam.

There's no official side quests this time around, which shortens the total playtime to about 4 or 5 hours, which sadly makes this the shortest of the New Vegas DLCs. But if you're an achievement whore, there's plenty of collectables to hunt down.

If you're a Fallout superfan you've probably already downloaded the package, and why you're reading this is beyond me. But if you haven't downloaded it yet, wait for a price drop to happen, because this package is too short to be worth $9.99.

For the record, Dead Money was my favorite DLC for New Vegas, followed by Old World Blues. Honestly, it's a toss-up between which I like less between Lonesome Road and Honest Hearts. Both of their stories were so bland and the quests were too straight forward. But I'll bet that all four of these DLC packages will be included on a "game of the year" edition of New Vegas sometime in the future, although it probably won't be called "Game of the Year Edition." Hey Bethesda, for what it's worth, you can totally use "High Roller Suite Edition" as the subtitle of this re-relase, and I promise I won't sue. Just put my name under the special thanks category in the credits, that's all I ask...and some free swag...and an in game character. Damn it! I blew it.

Available on the Xbox Live Marketplace, the PlayStation Network Store and Steam. Rated M for Mature. Deveolped by Obsidian Entertainment, produced by Bethesda Softworks.

Image provided courtesy of Wikia.com.

Duke Nukem Forever

If the only thing that kept you from killing yourself over the last 15 years was the foolish hope that a sequel to Duke Nukem 3D would come out, get ready to learn the meaning of disappointment, because Duke Nukem Forever is one of the worst comebacks in the history of comebacks. Seriously, after a decade and a half of delays, company budget cuts and development responsibility transfers, this dying horse has finally limped onto retail shelves worldwide, and it suuuuuuuuuuucks.

Twelve years after the events of Duke Nukem 3D, the aliens have returned to earth (possibly for revenge against the title character, but it's never made clear), so it's up to Duke to save the world...again. And Duke hasn't changed one bit. He's still a trash talking, beer swilling, stogie sucking, 'roids raging chick magnet that loves to quote movies after a kill and never takes his sunglasses off. What's different now is that he's a global phenomenon. He owns The Lady Killer, a Las Vegas hotel and casino intended solely to boost Duke's ego. Everyone walking the face of the Earth knows Duke, and loves him like he's all four members of The Beatles rolled up into one.

I will say this, Duke Nukem Forever will definitely give a feeling of nostalgia for those who were playing shooters in the 90's, and it's got plenty of funny moments. However, while the character Duke Nukem passed as a parody of the uber-masculine heroes that were clogging pop culture at the time, in this game he's almost required to be a parody of himself in order to still be passable in a time where video games are prominently more politically correct than they once were, particularly when it comes to female characters. And in case you were wondering, yes, this game has a strip club, and yes, there's plenty of bare breasts to behold. Apparently Duke Nukem's target demographic hasn't changed: adolescent boys who can't find any porn.


The story itself is pretty limited outside of the jokes, and it feels longer than it needs to be. Seriously, the entire game itself feels like one big joke.

The gameplay seems torn between the past and present. Level design is still simple and confusing, and enemies go down pretty easily. However, instead of running around looking for health packs, Duke's "ego" slowly regenerates over time. Maximum "ego" can be increased by interacting with objects in the game, such as dumbbells, porn magazines, and urinals (not kidding).

Multiplayer is also available in Duke Nukem Forever, but it's nothing outstanding compared to what else is out there right now.

Before I finish, I feel I should give my warning to any parents of young children that find this review. Please, for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT let your children play this game. Gaming already has enough targets on its back from politicians, pundits, preachers and parents who go crazy whenever they find something to be offensive in this medium. Now that a game as openly (albeit humorously) sexist as this one is on the market, and is getting mainstream advertisement, the industry could be seriously crippled if parents don't take responsibility for what media they allow their kids to consume. And if you still don't understand the USRB rating system, here's all you really need to know: M rated games are (basically) equivalent to R rated movies. Need I say more?

Now that that's out of the way, if your craving a re-imagination of treasured memories of the past, or you're looking for a good laugh, or if you just want to finally play this game after waiting for so long, save your money and rent it, then pat yourself on the back for being so thrifty.

Available for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC. Rated M for Mature. Published by 2K Games, developed by 3D Realms and Gearbox Software.

Image provided courtesy of Wikipedia.org.

Red Faction: Armageddon

If you missed out on 2009's Red Faction: Guerrilla, go and rent it or buy a used copy. It's a fun open-world game where you're encouraged to destroy everything and it never gets old. I was hoping this kind of fun gameplay would carry over to Red Faction: Armageddon, but boy was I wrong.

In this sequel to one of the more underrated games of the past decade, you play as Darius Mason, grandson of Guerrilla's main character, Alec Mason. The Mars colonists have been forced to live underground after the fanatic Alex Hale destroyed the Terraformer. Darius is tricked by Hale into awakening alien monsters in the depths of the caves of Mars, which threaten to drive the colonists out of their underground sanctuaries. Darius must now stop the chaos, hunt down Hale and clear his name before it's too late.

The biggest disappointment I had with this game was that it wasn't an open-world game like it's predecessor. There's no time to wander around and look for things to destroy. And while destruction is still available and fun to do, there doesn't seem to be much encouragement to do it. Instead you're supposed to run through long, narrow hallways and shoot down wave after wave of monsters, which gets old after a while.

The story is also boring and way too short; roughly 5 or 6 hours, depending on what difficulty you play on. There's no time for any character development, which makes them uninteresting and easily forgettable.

The game is still kind of fun with its good variety of weapons, ranging from new ones like the magnet gun, to old favorites like the sledgehammer. There's also plenty of vehicles in story mode that allow you to quadruple the mayhem you cause. The controls are pretty solid, especially the ability to auto-aim. Another new ability is Nano Forge, which allows you to instantly repair damaged buildings. So if you accidentally destroy something you actually need, like a bridge, a staircase or some cover, you can restore it right on the spot.

But if you really want to have some fun, play the two mini-games: Extermination and Ruin. Extermination is an online survival game for one to four players who must either survive waves of enemies or protect a structure for as long as possible. Ruin captures the true essence of the Red Faction series: destruction. You're given a specific amount of time to cause as much damage as you can in a certain environment. Sadly, this mode is only available through an online purchase or through a code included with a purchased copy of the game.

Bottom line, if you haven't played Red Faction: Guerrilla, go and play that first. Afterword, if you still want something more, rent Red Faction: Armageddon.

Available for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC. Rated M for Mature. Published by THQ and Syfy Games, developed by Volition, Inc.

L.A. Noire

My feelings towards Rockstar Games are pretty neutral. I have great respect for them for making open-world games what they are today, and for improving their games with each new title. However, they've given plenty of ammo to politicians, pundits, parents and preachers that overlook the artistic merit and educational value that video games can have. ("Hot Coffee" anyone?) Of course, most of this stuff could solely apply to Rockstar's signature franchise, Grand Theft Auto. But if you were expecting L.A. Noire to be anything like the glorified crime frenzy that you'd expect from a GTA title (or a Red Dead title for that matter) you are sorely mistaken.

L.A. Noire is a detective game. Sure, you have an open-world with a control scheme similar to GTA, but that's about as far as it goes. Almost all of the focus is on the main story of the game. You play as Cole Phelps, a haunted war hero and newly promoted ace detective in the 1947 LAPD. You're given different cases to solve and different departments to serve in. The process is kind of repetitive: visit crime scenes, gather clues, and interview suspects and witnesses.

The interviews are probably the best thing about this game. You'll ask people questions and will have to determine whether they're telling the truth. And if you can't prove they're lying, but their body language says they are, you can give them doubt. This encourages you to pay attention during interviews and keeps the gameplay from getting dull over time, especially because the lies get progressively harder to read.

You can gain experience points by finding clues and getting correct answers in interviews. Every time you gain a level, you'll be rewarded with an intuition point. These points can be used to either eliminate an answer in an interview, or reveal the locations of all the clues at a crime scene.

Probably the biggest contrast L.A. Noire has to GTA is that you're not encouraged to do whatever you want. Since your character is an honest cop, you're supposed to focus on solving the case rather than wreaking havoc on the city. There isn't even any real reason to wander around, despite the game's massive size. That is, unless you're obsessed with hidden collectables. You also can't use guns unless you're chasing someone or caught in a firefight.

The only other distraction available is street crimes, which are side quests you can take while on a case. When your police radio goes off, you can volunteer to handle situations that almost always involve chasing or shooting someone. It's a nice way to gain extra experience points, but the crimes often happen on the other side of the map. So if you want to go after a street crime before reaching your next destination, you'll have to go way out of your way to do so. Since this is a game set in the 1940's, a time before cell phones, this was probably the only way Rockstar could replace that annoying minigame from GTA where your friends would want to hang out with you so they'll still like you.

The visuals of this game are fantastic. Like Heavy Rain and James Cameron's Avatar, the faces of the characters were portrayed by real actors in front of video cameras. This allows the facial features and expressions of the game characters to be much more detailed and realistic, and is especially rewarding during interviews.

There's also a good amount of replay value to L.A. Noire. Similar to Heavy Rain, the decisions you make can affect how the plot unfolds. Thankfully, the game allows you to replay cases. This is also great for those of you who have to have 1,000 Gamerscore in every game you play.

Bottom line: L.A. Noire isn't perfect, but it's definitely worth a rent in the very least. As long as you can handle a game that focuses more on story than freedom, I think you'll be quite pleased.

Available for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. Rated M for Mature. Published by Rockstar Games. Developed by Rockstar Games and Team Bondi.

Image provided courtesy of Wikipedia.org.

Review of Fallout: New Vegas DLC: Honest Hearts

With their recent track record, Bethesda Softworks is becoming one of the most trusted companies in producing quality video games. How do make that claim? Look at what they've done since 2006. Oblivion, Fallout 3, plus several promising games for the coming year.

This brings me to a Bethesda produced (but not developed) title that ate up most of my spare time last fall: Fallout: New Vegas. While it wasn't as great as it's predecessor, New Vegas still gave the addictive, enjoyable experience only a Fallout title can bring. And it looks like fans will receive plenty of encouragement to continue playing with all of the downloads this summer. In case you haven't heard, Bethesda recently announced three...that's right, three New Vegas DLC's for the month of May, June and July 2011. So let's dive right into Honest Hearts.

Honest Hearts takes place in Zion national park, which is located in Utah. (If you've never been, you should check it out. It's gorgeous.) You'll receive a radio signal at the beginning of the DLC that invites anyone willing to work for a caravan company. Once your caravan reaches Zion, they're ambushed by the vicious White Legs tribe. As the only survivor of the attack, you're taken in by the Dead Horses tribe, led by the Burned Man.

If you've played through New Vegas' main game you'd know that the Burned Man is the former general of Caesar's Legion. After he failed to take Hoover Dam from the NCR, Caesar had him burned alive and thrown into the Grand Canyon. Yet only in something as absurd as a video game could the Burned Man somehow survive that fall and make it to Zion. Anyway, the Burned man recruits you into his fight to save Zion from the White Legs.

Along the way you'll have a couple different companions, including a cliche "Indian companion" with an accent so offensive that every time I hear it it makes me think to myself, "We stole their land." There's also a few new weapons to pick up, some new achievements to unlock, and the level cap has been raised to 40. However, you won't be able to begin this adventure until lighten your load to 75 or 100 pounds (depending whether you have the Strong Back perk), and you'll also have leave your regular companions behind.

The missions themselves are honestly kind of boring. It's about seven hours of pretty straight forward kill this guy, find this thing and bring it back, blah blah blah. And I don't know about you, but these DLCs feel less interesting when all of our stuff is still with us. What I liked about Dead Money, as well as a few of the DLCs from Fallout 3, was that all of our gear was taken from us and we were given new gear. This gave players the chance to challenge themselves and try to play the game a bit differently. It became more about survival and less about slowly becoming a walking tank.

Probably the biggest improvement Honest Hearts has following Dead Money is that, once you finish the main story, you can actually come and go as you choose. One of the most frustrating things about Dead Money was that you couldn't go back to the Sierra Casino once you left. Thankfully, that's not the case this time around. Also, there's a lot more plants to harvest in Zion than in the Mojave Wasteland, but that might just be because Obsidian Entertainment wanted to encourage you to make lots of healing powder at campfires because it fits no nicely with the Indiansploitaton (did I just make up a word?) theme of the DLC.

The level design is also pretty nice. The scenery is beautiful, and (like the main game) it kind of made me want to revisit the place it's based off of. Zion is somewhat depicted as a maze, with lots of different elevations to shoot people from.

I was also a bit disappointed about how the Burned Man character was handled. Like Father Elijah in the previous DLC, the Burned Man was the mysterious central character of Honest Hearts. However, he seemed a little too mysterious. And the way the developers tried to indirectly portray him as a vengeful Christian (kind of like a wannabe Boondock Saint) made me a bit uneasy when he talked about how he was serving as a "missionary" to the Dead Horse tribe.

I'd say that if you enjoyed playing Fallout: New Vegas and need excuses to keep it up, go ahead and download Honest Hearts for $10 through the XBL Marketplace, PSN Store or Steam. However, I'd advise you to keep your expectations low, because with the quality of the story and missions, it probably could have been a bit cheaper. Here's hoping next month's DLC will be better.

Rated M for Mature. Produced by Bethesda Softworks, developed by Obsidian Entertainment.

Image provided courtesy of JeuxVideo.com.

Paul

Seth Rogen meets Simon Pegg and Nick Frost; not exactly Superman meets Batman and Robin, more like the Flash meets the Wonder Twins. But regardless, these three comedy greats come together in Paul, a sci-fi comedy about a couple comic book geeks who cross paths with an alien in the Mojave desert. Needless to say, this is easily a formula for a fun movie filled with homages to a bundle of classic science fiction flicks.

Pegg and Frost, whom you probably know as the dynamic duo that stared in Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, play a pair of lifelong friends from England who are finally living their dream of attending Comic-con and road tripping across America to see its most famous UFO sights. On the way they run into Paul, a wisecracking, pot smoking alien, voiced by Seth Rogen. The little gray creature is on the run from the government, and convinces the nerds to give him a ride to a safe location.

Along the way they run into Kristen Wiig, who plays a Christan Creationist who loses her grip on reality when she lays her eyes upon Paul. Jason Bateman is the secret service agent who is hot on Paul's trail, while Bill Hader and Joe Lo Truglio are a couple bumbling cops assigned to assist Bateman. There's plenty of other cameos, but I'd rather not spoil it for you.

What makes the character Paul so likable is the fact that he's Seth Rogan, who pretty much plays himself in every movie he's in; a charming, smart-assed pothead that you can't help but root for. The only difference is that he's an alien, so he can do things like turn invisible, heal animals, and read minds. Seriously, about 30 minutes into the film, I thought to myself, "Man, it would be awesome to have a friend like Paul." When a movie makes you think that way, they've done their job.

This is probably one of the funnier movies to come out this year, but I can't recommend it as something to rush out for. The transition between the second and third act was also a bit slow.

Other than that, there isn't much wrong with Paul. It's a fun movie, especially if you're a science fiction fanboy that's in his 30s. There's no need to rush out for it right away, but if you've got some extra time and cash, go and enjoy yourself.

104 minutes long. Rated R. Image provided courtesy of TheMovieZones.com.

Bulletstorm

If Halo and Tony Hawk's Pro Skater had a baby, not only would the conception be impossible to explain, but it would probably look something like Bulletstorm. From the mind of Cliff Bleszinski, the man who gave us Unreal Tournament and Gears of War, comes a wacky, unapologetic festival of murder where points are added for creativity. However, while Bulletstorm is definitely a fun ride, it's not exactly something you'll want to go after right away.

Set in the 26th century, the game's protagonist is Grayson "Gray" Hunt, foul mouthed space pirate who loves to spend time at the bottom of a bottle of liquor. Ten years after he and his black-ops team went AWOL when they realized they were killing innocent people the whole time (whoops), they crash land on Stygia, a planet completely covered by a resort that's been overrun by mutants, gangs and giant monsters. Coincidentally, the same sailor-mouthed general who used Gray and his team for so long is also stranded on the planet. As the only surviving members of their team, Gray and his cyborg buddy, Ishi, decide to hunt the general down in the name of vengeance. Along the way they run unto Trishitaka, a potty mouthed chick who can hold her own with a gun. (Do you see what I'm getting at? Everyone in this game curses like Eminem after he's been set on fire!)

The main gimmick of Bulletstorm is the "kill with skill" mentality. Sure, you can just shoot someone in the head or the body like you normally would, but wouldn't it be more fun to set them on fire, or impale them, or shoot 'em in the nuts? Why not all three? You'll get more points that way! And with your plasma gravity whip, also called a leash, you'll be able to pull distant enemies toward you so you in slow motion, or your gravity boots to kick them far away in slow motion. Every trick, called "skillshots," has their own funny name and value. The points you earn can be used to purchase ammo and weapon upgrades from dropkits scattered across each level. My personal favorite is gang bang: when an enemy attaches grenades to you, run up to a group of enemies to blow them up instead.

OK, sounds fun, right? Sure, for a while. But there are times when there seems to be a lack of variety and the skillshots get repetitive and stale. Enemies also tend to run around a lot, as if they're begging for you to go after skillshots. And did I mention the adult content dialogue?

Another issue I had with Bulletstorm was the cover system, because it's pretty much non-existent. You'd think that the makers of Gears of War would know how to create such a system, but that's just not the case. All you can do is hold down your left thumb stick to crouch. You can't press it once to stay crouched or twice to go prone. And even that rarely makes a difference. Sure, you can slide across just about any surface, but it doesn't really make up for the weak cover system.

But other than that, there's not much to complain about. The characters are pretty entertaining, especially Gray and General Sarrano. There's also a fun area in chapter two when you get to control a robotic T-Rex that shoots lasers out of its eyes...seriously! Campaign mode is also co-op enabled. And while there's no real reason to play it again (besides the achievements, YOU WHORES!), it's still pretty tempting.

When you're done with campaign mode, you can go into "Echo" mode to improve your skills and beat your best time. There's also multiplayer for those of you who want to challenge the world in a contest for the best combo, but it's nothing special.

While Bulletstorm is definitely a good time, I'd advise you to try it before you buy it. And even though most of the humor and images seem like they came from a child's head, do not, I repeat, do NOT, get this for your kids. I know where you live...

Available for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC. Rated M for Mature. Published by Electronic Arts. Developed by Epic Games and People Can Fly.

Dead Space 2

Do you like survival horror? Do you like outer space? Did you like Dead Space? Then have I got a game for you: Dead Space 2. EA and Visceral Games' sequel to one of the better games of 2008 splatters back onto the screen to keep trying to make you soil yourself.

Protagonist Isaac Clarke wakes up in the aftermath of a Necromorph outbreak in a destroyed and nearly deserted city on Saturn's moon, Titan. He can't remember anything since he escaped the Ishimura at the end of the first game, and he keeps hallucinating horrifying images. As the plot progresses, he discovers that three years have past since his nightmare on the Ishimura, and he's apparently been working with the Church of Unitology to build a new Marker, which is what caused the new outbreak. Now he has to navigate the city to find the Marker and destroy it.

Perhaps the greatest improvement this sequel brings to the table is that Isaac now has a face, a voice, and a personality! So now it's easier to connect to the main character, which makes the story more engaging. Seriously, what was Visceral thinking when they made the first game?

The gameplay doesn't feel too different, which isn't entirely a bad thing. You still get to dismember enemies and make blood spray all over the place. The zero gravity areas, however, have gotten better, because it's now easier to reorient yourself when you get lost. Hacking into computers has also been added, but it never seems to get progressively harder. One thing I noticed was that it's only a survival horror game if you play on a harder difficulty, because an experienced gamer playing on Casual difficulty won't need anything other than a fully upgraded plasma cutter and the advanced suit. The extra guns and ammo are only necessary if you feel like challenging yourself.

The environments and enemies are just as creepy as their predecessors, and the gore has been kicked up a notch. Even though playing through story mode is pretty straight forward, it's still a lot of fun. I was a bit disappointed by the lack of boss battles though.

Multilayer mode is also available in Dead Space 2, but it's pretty much worthless. The only game available consists of two teams: humans and Necromorphs. The humans need to complete objectives within the time limit, and the Necromorphs need to stop them. All you do is fight as long as you can until you die, then respawn and do it all over again. Sure, you can upgrade your human equipment, but it won't take long till you find yourself yawning.

If your a survival horror fan who loved the original Dead Space, then there's no reason not to grab Dead Space 2.

Available for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC. Rated M for Mature.

Image provided courtesy of Wikipedia.org.

Season of the Witch

I think it's safe to say that Nicholas Cage has accepted that he isn't the most popular actor in Hollywood, so he'll do just about anything for a paycheck these days. Therefor, it's not that surprising that he took the lead role in Season of the Witch, a fantasy/horror/buddy/road trip hybrid of a snoozer.

Set in 14th century England, Cage and Ron Perlman play two Crusaders who've gone AWOL after realizing they've spilled too much innocent blood in the name of God. Unfortunately, the first town they stop in back home is suffering under the shadow of a deadly plague, a plague that the town has blamed on a young woman who happened to be passing through. The woman is accused of witchcraft and needs to be escorted to a monastery in the mountains where the monks will use their holy magic take her powers from her. Cage and Perlman are promised absolvement for their sins if they assist in the witch's transportation. But wait, isn't that what they went to the Crusades for? Ironyyyyyyy...

There's nothing particularly special about this movie. It's not completely horrible, but it's also not that great. It's just a boring waste of money that you probably won't even remember six months from now.

The plot in general is sadly predictable, and while the filmmakers want you to spend the whole time wondering whether the woman is a witch or not, the trailers kind of spoil it. That being said, Claire Foy does do a good job as the title character. So if you see this movie without having seen the trailer, her performance would probably seem a bit better.

Whenever Nicholas Cage was on the screen, I thought to myself, Thank God he's not trying to use an English accent, and whenever Ron Perlman was on screen, I thought, When is Hellboy 3 coming out? The pair does have a descent amount of chemistry in the film, but it's that cliche kind of chemistry that you see in any kind of buddy action movie. Their performances were pretty straight forward, cookie cutter, badass personas that plenty of lesser known actors could have done.

Speaking of English accents, how amazing is it that non-American actors like Christian Bale, Sam Worthington and Daniel Day-Lewis can play convincingly American characters, yet Americans can't be convincing as anything but Americans? Seriously, we have a huge outsourcing problem in this country. And I'm not talking about factory workers or call center employees, I'm talking about mainstream film acting jobs. It's kind of bizarre that the two main characters of a movie set in Medieval England are played by the only two non-European native actors in the cast.

Cage's character also keeps bringing up the fact that he no longer believes in the church and the imperfect men who run it. It's a common thing to see in religious themed movies these days; a protagonist who once believed in what preachers have told him who begins to question the church, due to an inner conflict of logic or emotion. I mean, sure, Christianity doesn't exactly have a model resume, and perhaps the church made a few mistakes over the last couple millenniums, but how much more anti-religious symbolism do we need? Then again, I guess a straight forward, zealous character would be too dry and politically incorrect for today's audience, wouldn't it?

While the technical side of the movie is good, including the special effects, Season of the Witch is an easy skip to make. It's a new year with plenty of other great stuff on the horizon, so just save your cash and ignore this one.